Sneak Peaks

Sneak Peaks of What’s Coming Soon . . .


Book Two

Great Aunt Maud – A Leech Jar Named Desire

Stepping out of the ambulance upon arrival, Great Aunt Maud gave us each a present: a small jam jar containing a live leech of our very own.

She says one never reliably knows when one will need the help of a devoted bloodsucker.

Great Aunt Maud is a great believer in bloodletting.

She lovingly strokes her own 74 pet leeches when they are not in use.

Apparently they have 32 brains each. That’s 31 more than the rest of us.

They also have around 300 teeth.

We screwed our jam-jar lids on extra tightly when we heard that — about the teeth, that is, not the brains.

To be honest, the responsibility of leech ownership weighs rather heavily.


to be continued. . .


Book Three

Grandfather Frederick — A Fish Called Brenda

Grandfather Frederick II is driven to do good deeds.

He says he wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Or a flea.

Or a gnat.

Or even the smallest living thing in the world.

Mum said Grandfather is devoted to the well-known wise-man Harry Upthair, and had forsaken all worldly possessions.

As a result, he didn’t take long to unpack.

Having emptied his case, he showed us how to tap eggs to stun them, and how to quickly boil them, whilst stunned, to spare them any pain.

He said he could hear the grass screaming when we walked on it and reminded us that Harry Upthair was very much against the mindless torture of insects, grass and eggs.

Mr. Upthair was also dead set against against leftovers.

Great Aunt Amelia told Frederick that some people enjoyed leaving leftovers and positively adored trampling on the grass.

She had heard, she said, of those who even delighted in the torture of inoffensive eggs.


 to be continued. . .


Book Four Cousin Angel – Mimi La Minque

Cousin Angel pulled her ‘sad’ face when she saw the room we had chosen for her.

She also has a ‘happy’ face, an ‘I’m ‘very disappointed’ face and an ‘I’m pretty sure something has died in your fridge’ face.

Shrugging her miniature mink cape from her shoulders to the floor, she scrutinized Alice’s elongated head and prominent ears and said:

‘I see you keep aardvarks. We keep peacocks and gazelles’ .


to be continued. . .